I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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