ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
