ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
