I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
