Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
