We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Randomize
