I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
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dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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