I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
