Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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