David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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