We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
