There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
the condom got lost in my hair
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
