She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
