I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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