to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
True strength comes from lack of pants
We are all done wearing pants today
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
