a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
