the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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