Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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