dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
