considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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