Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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