did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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