you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
