Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
