We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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