The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
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