yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
he fucked my hip out of place.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
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