I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
