And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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