My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize