I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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