whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
