We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
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