Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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