I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
