You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
