Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
