Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Randomize
