i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize