I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
