ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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