So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize