I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
