I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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