i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
