i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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