Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I am in a vortex of obligation.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
