dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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