he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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