Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
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