the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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