i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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