she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
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We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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