is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
