So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize