Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Randomize
