hotel room ftw
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize