Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize